Gender-based violence and the holidays

 

The winter holiday season is usually depicted as a bright, joyful time when friends and family come together to exchange gifts, share a meal, and celebrate. But this can also be a dark, lonely, isolating time. And for women and others who are experiencing gender-based violence at home, it can be an especially dangerous time. Although there isn’t much data on this topic, frontline shelter workers see an increase in calls during this time of year.

Let’s talk about why that might happen.

holiday risk factors

Higher alcohol consumption

While alcohol use alone does not cause gender-based violence, it can escalate the risk and severity of it. That’s because alcohol increases aggression and lowers impulse control, making it more likely for an abuser to lash out, or to be more violent than usual.

Survivors of gender-based violence may use alcohol to cope with what’s happening in their lives, and increased use during the holidays could slow down reaction times or make it more difficult to get help. Sometimes, abusers will force drug and alcohol use as a means of control or claim that the survivor’s substance use justifies the need to have control.

 

Financial strain

 

Gender-based violence happens to people across all social classes, and just like with alcohol, financial stress does not cause gender-based violence, but it can contribute to the risk. With the increased pressure to spend around the holidays comes more tension in intimate relationships, which can lead to more violence.

The financial strain many folks feel around the holidays also means that survivors are more limited in their ability to leave. They may not be able to afford to leave at a time when bills are piling up. Or they may not be able to, because their abuser is controlling their finances.

 

Pressure to perform

The holidays are filled with the pressure to perform. From the perfect decorations to the perfect gifts to visiting friends and relatives that you might not see other times of year, the holidays bring a lot of additional stress to families. The dynamics of extended family can be challenging, and create tension in the home, which can lead to an abuser lashing out with violence, or ramping up his efforts to control.

Survivors may put off leaving an abuser because they want to give their children one last Christmas as a family. There’s a lot of pressure from society, social media, and other family members to create a magical time. Combined with the other risk factors we’ve discussed, this can make it an especially dangerous time.

 

More time at home and fewer social services

 

Between Christmas and New Year’s, there are lots of holiday closures. Schools close, and many workplaces have reduced hours, too. This means that survivors of violence must spend more time at home with their abusers. Closures also affect health and social services, making it more difficult to seek help. In addition, friends and other support people may be travelling out of town and unreachable.

All of these factors combine to make the winter holiday season one of heightened risk for those experiencing violence in their homes. So, what can be done?

Safety Planning for Survivors

If your partner is abusing you—physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially, or otherwise, it’s important to have a safety plan in mind. A safety plan can look different depending on your situation, where you live, and the supports you’re connected to. Here, we’ll share a few basic tips for starting a safety plan.

  • Gather important phone numbers

Support lines, shelters (either locally or, if you’re travelling for the holidays, at your destination), emergency contacts. Have these listed somewhere safe and secure.

 

  • Gather important documents

If you’re thinking of leaving, you might want to begin gathering important documents, like birth certificates and other identification, in one place.

  • Keep your gas tank at least half full

If you have access to a vehicle, make sure that there’s always gas in the tank. You might also want to keep the keys somewhere handy. If you live somewhere cold, make sure your vehicle is plugged in.

 

  • Keep your phone charged

Making sure your phone is always charged means that it will be ready when you need to text or call for help.

 

  • Consider creating a safe word or phrase with a trusted friend or family member

You could have an agreement that if you text them the word or phrase, they will call police.

 

  • Prepare a discreet “go” bag

This might include your important documents, some cash, clothing, a phone charger, or any other important items you’ll need when you leave. Consider leaving the bag with a trusted friend.

 

These are only some of the ways you can plan for safety. You are the expert in your own life, and you might identify other ways for yourself. Sometimes, safety isn’t about leaving. It might look like getting out of the way of an abuser, hiding until he’s calmed down, or taking a smoke break to de-escalate. If you’d like to brainstorm more ways to keep safe, reach out to a local shelter or crisis line, like the Dawson Women’s Shelter.

supports and resources

Dawson city

  • Dawson Women’s Shelter: our support line is answered 24 hours a day, every day of the year. Call 867-993-5086. We serve Dawson City, Mayo, and Old Crow.

  • Mental Wellness and Substance Use: counselling referrals, harm reduction supplies, rapid access counselling on Wednesdays from 1-3:30 pm. Located on the second floor of the Dawson City Hospital. Call 867-456-3838 for self-referral.

Whitehorse

national

  • Sheltersafe.ca: Provides information and a clickable map to find a shelter near you.

  • Hope for Wellness Helpline: Available 24/7 to all First Nations, Inuit, and Métis Peoples across Canada for emotional support, crisis intervention, or referrals. Call 1-855-242-3310 or use the online chat service.

  • Kids Help Phone: This service is for children and young adults (ages 5 to 29) who need confidential support. Call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868. 

  • Trans Lifeline: Offers peer support and resources for trans and gender-diverse people. Call 1-877-330-6366

 
24 Hour Support Line, Education, Emergency Shelter, Supporting Survivors, Understanding ViolenceDawson Women's Sheltergender-based violence, violence prevention, safety planning, risk factors